If you live in India, you know that the pressure to marry starts somewhere in your mid-twenties or even earlier. And no, this is not just something that only women face. Men too have to deal with the pressure of getting married “on time”. Close relatives start showing you pictures of prospective brides and parents sign you up on matrimony websites. Your parents even remind you that you too should tie the knot every time one of your peers gets married. In addition, you probably have to deal with several comments at family weddings, from relatives who are overly curious – like, “you are next”, “do not wait any longer”, “you are at the right age to get married” and so on. The anxiety that follows is unpleasant and sometimes it makes you stop attending these social gatherings altogether.
Plus, when you actually start searching for the right one, you realise that getting married is easier said than done. Naturally, the pressure builds on. And then there are those unrealistic expectations that men in India have to meet, while looking for their future wife, or they might end up getting rejected. So, let’s take a look at what these challenges are:
Your Income And Other Finances Get Scrutinised
The best way to explain this situation is with the example of Hoshiyar Chand in the movie Coolie no. 1. He wanted a supremely rich husband for his daughter to be happy. Whether that man was a well-mannered, good-at-heart person, was not of importance. So, it was not very hoshiyar (smart) of him.
Also, who has not heard of the uncomfortable questions men are asked – “how much do you earn beta”, “what is your in-hand salary”, “does your office offer stock options”…and the list goes on. The more such questions the bride’s family asks, the more awkward it gets.
Friends Tell You That Life Gets Over After Marriage
You may have come across friends who constantly say this. They will scare you into believing that you will lose your freedom after marriage. This is not always true. You have to find the right person. All you have to remember is this – if you can find someone you can communicate with easily then you do not have to worry about these fears.
Judged Based On Your Family Background
In traditional settings, your family’s social status is often valued more than your own qualities and habits, even if they match the girl’s. And dealing with such judgments is not really easy.
Parents Often Call The Shots
Amitabh Bachchan’s voice, ‘Kehdiyana, bas kehdiya.’
Parents tend to force their opinions on their children because they think they know what’s best. It is not always easy to deal with the pressure of parents deciding for you.
Being Rejected For Being Too Short
Women are not the only ones who face rejection owing to their appearance. Turns out, many men also deal with the pressure of having to be ‘tall, dark and handsome.’ If you are wondering why tall men are treated better, you could look at this Swedish study, which says that men who run large companies are above average height, at 6 feet or taller. But our country has far too many successful men who are not exactly gifted in the height department –Narayan Murthy, A. R. Rahman, the Khans, to name a few. So, even if you are not tall, all is not lost.
By now, you might be wondering how you are supposed to zigzag through these pressures and find a match. Many matchmaking websites recognise the challenges mentioned above and have created platforms to take the pressure off singles. You can connect with other women on these websites without having to deal with the extended family hovering over your heads. It gives you a chance to connect with like-minded women and decide for yourself if you are compatible or not. After all, choosing a companion should be your decision alone.